Friday, March 5, 2010

Productive Sweatpants: Top Ten List

Welcome back kids. We made it through another week of our lives...together. And as a nice reward Productive Sweatpants is going to give you some valuable advice.

Ever find yourself in a conversation that just won't end? Or have you ever been confronted by some annoying sales person or someone who wants to take a few minutes to share their testimony with you? Yeah us too. But good news, the scientists here at Productive Sweatpants have just completed an extensive research study that explored ways to end these uncomfortable or unwanted conversation.

So take notes, print out or take down from the mountain on stone tablets the following Top Ten Ways To End Unwanted Conversation:

10) "Thirty Seven" - the perfect answer to any question you don't want to or can't answer.
9) "I carried a watermelon." - Watch as this classic movie quote gets you out of just about anything.

8) "It occurs to me that the Rhesus Monkey is at the center of all the worlds great controversies." - The natural angle is hard to argue.

7) Shrug your shoulders and offer "The world according to Garp." - Nobody really understands that movie anyway.

6) "Ball bearings. It's all ball bearing now a days." - Technology and mechanics, a winning combination.

5) Stare the person dead in the eyes and jump, run around and wave your arms and scream "Bees. Bees everywhere. Your weapons are useless against them."

4) "My mom thinks I'm handsome." - Who's going to argue with your mother?

3) The rebuttal question said with conviction: "It's science." - Try it.

2) Quite possible one of the best stories I've heard: "I'm Pagan."

And the number one Way To End Unwanted Conversation...

..."I'm on a horse."

Can't make this stuff up people. Hey, it's science.


jaru said...

"37?!....37?!" -Dante

"Just be glad you werent number 36." -Randall

"Hey, try not to suck any d-ck on your way through the parking lot!!"

-it went something like that anwyay.

Joe said...

37? Really. Any who knows anything knows that the real answer is 42.