Friday, June 18, 2010

Productive Sweatpants presents: Top Ten List

You already know that the World Cup has captivated Productive Sweatpants. With the US in a decent position to move into the round of 16 there is no sign that will change either.

Clearly the biggest piece of news coming out of South Africa, besides the dreadful play of England is the gentled buzzing of the Vuvuzelas. It's gotten so bad here that I've started to really enjoy the gentle hum. Someone said to me the other day that they believe the Vuvuzelas are born of African Witchcraft as a way to entrance American's into watching the World Cup. It's worked, I think. People can't stop talking about them.

So Productive Sweatpants decided to take a look at what events could be improved by adding the Vuvuzela. So, here are the Top Ten Events That Would Be Perfect for Vuvuzelas:

10) The US Senate. Wouldn't it just spice up the chamber is Joe Lieberman had to battle a host of Vuvuzelas humming in the balcony.

9) A baseball game. Doesn't even have to be a playoff game. If any Vuvuzela player could go that long we'd welcome them anytime

8) The Gaza Strip. Don't you think both sides would join forces to find a way to stop the annoying buzzing? Can you imagine peace being brought to the region by the Vuvuzela.

7) Vegas. Because thankfully what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

6) Greece. If blowing a Vuvuzela can in some way be turned into a paying job, I'm sure their government would take it.

5) Meetings. Yes, regular ol business meetings. They're absolutely abysmal as is, so why not?

4) Church. God is a soccer fan!

3) PGA Tour events. Can you imagine Tiger trying to line up a 30 footer with a Vuvuzela in his ear? Maybe we can once and for all get rid of "get in the hole" guy. I freaking hate that guy!

2) Broadway. A whole show powered by an orchestra of Vuvuzelas. Come on, if Stomp can make it why not this?

And the number one Event That Would Be Perfect for Vuvuzela...

...Public Access Television! Millions would tune in to nature footage accompanied by the sweet buzz of the Vuvuzela.

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