Friday, November 5, 2010

Lazy Man's Michigan Preview: Illinois

This is that moment in the movie where the "non-believer" has run out of options and has no where else to turn. At which point he drops to his knees and reaches out to God in a complete act of desperation. So here goes nothing:

Hey there God, it's me. Um, yeah I know that we haven't exactly been on speaking terms. Or, well at least I haven't been willing to speak to you. But I guess you knew that already. Any way, I'm not really sure how this is suppose to work, but I could really need a hand down here.

You see, God, The Wolverines are in dire straights. But, I suppose you know that too. Come to think of it you're probably behind this mess at some level, aren't you? Is this our walk through the desert? Are you testing us Michigan fans? WTF!

Wasn't it enough that you sent Appalachian State and screwed us Lot style? And well with all the safeties and corners you've taken from us, I'm pretty sure we've paid our Abraham dues. We can't continue to build our Ark if they take our Noah away, so you really gotta toss us a line here, just a little something to keep us heading in the right direction.

Anyway, everyone thinks that you are a Quarterback, but I kind of always thought of you as a middle linebacker. All I'm saying is we could use your help on Saturday. I don't know if this is even how I'm suppose to do this, but I figured it was worth a shot. Ah, thanks and ah talk to you later.

On with the keys:

Offense
Good solid play calling. Illinois has a pretty solid defense. To date our offense really hasn't been stopped. If we can hit some timely passes and don't try and run Vincent Smith up the gut on 3rd and 2, we should be okay.

Defense
God hears my prayer and manifests himself as two Charles Woodsons, David Harris and Larry Foote. Actually, if we just freaking tackle and stop thinking, we'd be a lot better off. So there we go, if the defense is drove of mindless tackling zombies we can get a stop of four or five and be in great shape.

Special Teams
Focus. Focus. Focus. Don't try and do too much. It's a simple game: you catch, block and you run. That's it.

Prediction
Some how we are a 3 point favorite. I don't know. Illinois handled Penn State, with its starting QB, at in Happy Valley. The same place we just got beat by their 3rd string QB. If the defense doesn't step up, we will lose.

On with the previews:

Brian at MGoBlog is desperate, man and points out that we likely have an almost all true freshman secondary, yippee

BWS is at a loss like the rest of us but gives us his not-so-confident prediction.

GoBlue Michigan Wolverine gives a quick Illini snapshot and also spells doom in its predictions

In Rod We Trust shares a prediction for him if the game end up in an Illini win.

Maize and Blue Nation has stats like woah! But also says that it'll be clear who the winner will be from the get go in his preview.

The Big House Blog reaches out to Karma in its look at the game.

As always The M Zone comes with my favorite post: Know your Foe. And reminds us that we owe to Illinois for two things we love, blogs and porn.

The Wolverine Blog plays its Numbers Game and hopes for a shoot out.

Touch the Banner has had life interfere but shows up briefly to tell us that Leshoure and Scheelhaase will set NCAA records against us.

The Mathlete puts figures into his massive formula and gives a look at the game. (PS have fun at the Big House this weekend Mathlete)

UMGoBlog gives us double duty with their normal preview, in which they say same shit different day, and a podcast of PSU reflection and Illini preview.

And I'm sure The WLA will have something up at sometime. It just gives me a good feeling linking to though fellows.

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