Friday, October 5, 2012

Cocktails and Dreams

Hey Loyal Readers,

Well, it's been a busy week - playoff baseball is in full swing, the presidential debates have kicked off (and props to NV Nole for doing his civic duty)and Drake is still pointlessly trying to defend the B1G Horrible (I mean 10...with their 12 teams) as something more than the worst conference in the land. Even here at the mansion, the SEC Queen Bee (SQB) found the time to sample some vino (yeah, that's right, we speak French 'round these parts). Needless to say, three sips in (after nine months in abentia - yeah, we can even drop some Latin from time to time!) she decided to describe her top 5 adult beverages, ranging from the classic to the dirty to the fun and fruity. Given the amount of time I have now, I decided what better way to present a way to win you more money. So without further ado:

#5 - Sugar Free Red Bull and Vodka - GOTW
The combination of a caffeine fueled upper and the mellowing effects of our finest potato based libation is much like the coming together on the gridiron of the hyper-paced "Air Raid" offense of Dana Holgerson and Mack Brown's slow drawling southern accent run-based offense. And much like the effects of this drink, initially I see WVU's hyper-activity taking the 'Horns by surprise. But, as is always the case, the early excitement of caffeine is eventually overtaken by the slow and steady crawl of the alcohol. In the much the same way as SQB's #5, look for UT to eventually lull the Mountaineers to sleep with a monotonous and grinding ground attack that eats clock and keeps Geno and company off the field. Texas wins it and covers the 7 point spread 41-30.

#4 - Margarita (with Cuervo 1800, if you please)
Normally a margarita isn't considered a top shelf drink but when the Queen Bee asks, no, demands, the Cuervo 1800, well it cranks this baby up from just another cocktail to a "look at me, I'm a fancy and expensive drink." In much the same way, UNLV is your run of the mill margarita (can you say Sauza?!?), the Louisiana Tech Bulldogs have taken the leap (at least to this point) to "Cuervo 1800" status with road wins at Virginia, Illinois, and Houston. And, with upcoming games against Texas AM and Utah State, the Bulldogs have a chance to make some noise. My fellow bloggers have written about UNLV ad nauseum (yeah that's right, I'm dropping more Latin - it's for the kids really, much like Whitney, I do believe the children are our future). Honestly I haven't watched LA Tech this season but I have seen some of the Running Rebels and they aren't very good. Of course, that would explain why they are 27 point underdogs on the road. Sadly, for them, their season is lost, their coach is a lame duck, and the flight home will be a long one after getting blown out of Joe Aillet Stadium 45-7.

#3 - Stoli Doli
Although it's the least well known of the drinks on the list, this powerful cocktail sneaks up on the SQB, transforming her from a bar-stool conversationalist to a dance floor "groove-ologist," getting down to some house beats and '80's remixes. And let's be honest, in college football today there is one team that stands head and shoulders above all else in terms of going from zero to 60 in the blink of an eye...the Oregon Ducks. This week will be no different against Washington as the Ducks will start out slow until Evil Genius Chip Kelly (okay, maybe he's not evil, I don't know him personally) finds the weakness in the UW defense and exploits with a quickness not seen since the Kardashian/Humphries nuptials and subsequent divorce (speaking of scandal - who else saw it coming that Emily paid off Jef on the Bachelorette!?! For the love of Chris Harrison - if it's time to start questioning the integrity of that show it's time to start questioning the very fabric of America!). Washington may score some points but their offense will be (at least partially) shut down by the Duck defense and although Oregon has had some trouble covering spreads in the past, now that they are in the MNC conversation, the Evil Genius will use this "showcase" game as a chance to impress the voters. Oregon rolls easily 66-24.

#2 - Dirty Martini
This American classic needs no elaborate description - chill a glass, pour in some straight gasoline, and garnish with an olive or two (and some olive juice, if so desired). Likewise, there's nothing flashy about the Mississippi State/Kentucky tilt - neither team is talked about nationally. Further more, Kentucky is a basketball school, it's an early kickoff (12:20 eastern) and few outside the SEC probably even know this game is happening. However, just like a nice martini at dinner can get the train rolling for a fun evening of frivolity and foolishness, taking Mississippi State in this game will get your Saturday off to a nice start, winning you some money early and setting you up to enjoy your evening buffet of college football. I've watched way too much Kentucky football this year and in terms of on-the-field product, they're like Screech Powers on Saved by the Bell. They are part of the SEC cast but just an annoying nuisance that is constantly being berated and humiliated. On the bright side, Coach Mullen will get a chance to rest his starters as the Bulldogs jump out early and often, winning easily 45-14

#1 - Vino ("aah, fermented grapes....")
The SBQ's "go to" beverage comes in multiple varieties, colors, textures, bottles (or boxes - if you're feeling especially high class), tastes and even price points. Not to mention, it can be served in various situations and under various circumstances - with dinner, after dinner, at happy hour with friends or co-workers, on a warm summer evening, on a cold night in front of the fire, at weddings or parties, with food or without food, or even in a glass, plastic Solo cup or coffee mug adorned with the face of a favorite pet. That kind of versatility and "anything goes" attitude is really exemplified by the coach of only one team in the country, a man named Leslie Edwin. You may know him better by his moniker "The Mad Hatter," or as the guy who eats grass and coaches LSU, or as Les Miles. Regardless of how you know him, he's definitely a character on the sideline. He is no doubt his own man, whether it be going for it on multiple fourth downs to beat Florida, successfully calling a fake field goal via a "flip over the shoulder" play or just winning a game because he forgot to call timeout. In the game against Florida look for the Tiger defense to completely shut down the Gator offense and while Spencer Blue and company won't put a ton of points, they'll do enough to vault themselves back into the national championship conversation with a hard fought win on the road, LSU 21-13.

Now that I've shown you the way to continued fame and fortune...if any of our readers have a tasty concoction you'd like to pass along please do so - the SQB is always up for trying a new beverage (and if it sounds appealing your humble correspondent may even have a sip or two) Cheers!.

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