Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Kids Make The Darnedest Picks


Look, I love this campaign. AT&T can suck it, but this campaign always makes me laugh. And that’s why it has inspired this new weekly segment.

As has been evident over the past couple of years, here on this site, successfully betting on College Football is hard. Even the pros say going 53% is good. So I decided I would take the AT&T approach and enlist my two favorite grade-schoolers to help me pick winners in each week.

Meet Aces and O-Dubs. Despite their nefarious sounding names, neither is a professional, well anything. Aces is a second grader and is super into Pokemon , Basketball and American Ninja Warrior. O-Dubs is in the first grade and is basically into whatever Aces is in to.

Making straight up picks is cute and all, but I do live in Vegas, so spreads are in full play here. You want to have a fun conversation? Explain point spreads to a first and second grader. Yeah. Overall, I think the concept has soaked in a little. They get that +3 means that team starts with three more points than the other team. What really hasn’t made a dent just yet is that +26 isn’t really that great. But we’ll get there.

I picked the five games with the closest spreads to make it a little easier for their first time out. They made a pick for each game and provided sound, grade school reasoning for their picks. And by the time we got through the five, they were so excited they wanted to pick their very own special game. So, hey, you get a bonus.

Alright, let’s get on with Week 2:
Wake Forest @ Boston College -3
Friday, 9/6 8:00 pm ET

Aces Pick: Boston College
Why: Because the Boston College Eagles is a way cooler name

O-Dubs Pick: Boston College
Why: Because Eagles win a lot of games

Analysis: Looks like we went to the mascots here. I mean, when you’re 8 do you know what the hell a Deacon is? I sure didn’t. I’m not sure I know what one is now. And BC does have a 631-453-36 record. To a first grader, 631 is a shit ton!


(12) Florida @ Miami +3
Saturday, 9/7 Noon ET

Aces Pick: Miami
Why: They’re getting three points!

O-Dubs Pick:  Florida
Why:  Because they are ranked number 12

Analysis: Starting to grasp the spread here. In the second pick. MIT here we come! And you can’t go wrong with relying on rankings. The Game Day hosts do it.


Houston @ Temple +3
Saturday, 9/7 Noon ET

Aces Pick: Temple
Why:  Because Temple Run is my favorite game

O-Dubs Pick: Temple
Why: In “Dragon Pearl” there is a temple

Analysis: Who doesn’t love Temple Run? I’m just worried about which team is the runner and which is the monster chasing him. Have you seen “Dragon Pearl”? That temple is pretty bad ass!


(6) South Carolina @ (11) Georgia -3
Saturday, 9/7 4:30 pm ET

Aces Pick: Georgia
Why: I used to play for the Bulldogs and I have a dog.

O-Dubs Pick: Georgia
Why: Bulldogs are strong. One time I was playing soccer and a bulldog knocked me down.

Analysis: Looks like mascots took over here again. And hey Bulldogs are pretty strong, yo.


(14) Notre Dame @ (17) Michigan -3.5
Saturday, 9/7 8:00 pm ET

Aces Pick: Notre Dame
Why: I don’t want to root for your team.

O-Dubs Pick: Michigan
Why: Because they are ranked 17

Analysis: Hey I get it, what’s wrong with a little in-house rivalry. But, guess who’s getting a special Toys R Us trip at the end of the week?


North Texas @ Ohio -5
Saturday, 9/7 7:00 pm ET

Aces Pick: Ohio
Why: I like Arizona and they have the same mascot, kinda.

O-Dubs Pick: Ohio
Why: Because they are bobcats

Analysis: Honestly, what is a Mean Green? Solid pick here.


Special Bonus Picks

Aces: Arizona -10. 9/7, 10:30 pm ET
Why: Cause UNLV stinks!

Analysis: No analysis needed here. This is actually true.

O-Dubs Pick: USF +26.5. 9/7, Noon ET
Why: Because they are Bulls in South Florida.

Analysis: He has a point. How many Bulls live in South Florida?

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