Thursday, November 14, 2013

Tis The Season: SEC Guy Returns

[ed: I think I said his name three times which made him appear like Beatlejuice. For this I apologize.]

Hey Loyal Readers,

Well, at long last you get an early Christmas present – yep, that’s right, the triumphant return of the greatest person you know, SEC Guy. Don’t worry, I’ll give you a minute to consider if Uncle Phil or Aunt Lucy is better…..and we’re back (and how funny is it that my friend(??) Drake once tried to claim Uncle Drake status. Our poor, misguided friend trying to trademarking that is like saying that Khloe and Lamar are getting divorced!! Get real Drake!!).

Anyway, I’m here to spread some holiday joy, win you some money and for the love of all that is awesome give you a break from reading “Uncle Drake” trying to claim how Michigan is a good football team. Or am I the only one who loves to read his blog about how Michigan is going to win, followed by links to all the other people who think Michigan is going to win? I finally realized after last week – it’s an internet version of a support group. “Maybe if we all think Big Blue won’t rush for -48 yards we have a chance!! Let’s all light a candle and pray to the portly shape of Hoke!!!”

Or, maybe, I’m the only one who watched the Michigan/Michigan State game? I can’t wait for the line to be too low on Michigan for the Michigan/Ohio State game so I can put my kid’s college fund on Ohio State and watch Urban run up the score…and Brady eat a 12 pack of Krispy Kremes. 

Lastly, a special shout out to NV Nole regarding the Michigan/Michigan State game (debacle) – he knows why. I know it was you! Let’s just suffice it to say that NV Nole is like Fredo in Godfather II…….never go against SEC Guy.

Anyway, the holiday season is basically upon us so let’s leave behind the sadness of “Uncle Drake” and whatever NV Nole has going on in his life (I mean really Nole, not one single post? Even with your precious Noles sitting second in the BCS?) and focus on winning some coin, straight up SEC style…

Alabama (-25) at Mississippi State 7:45 p.m. eastern on ESPN
Do I even have to write anything? Alabama may have a weakness – their secondary (although how did that work out for LSU). But guess what, MSU can’t throw the ball. Not to mention, Saban and Kirby ain’t happy that LSU scored at all. As your weird, drunk Uncle Drake would say – take the Alabama death machine. It will roll along like Darth Vader choking that dude in the first Star Wars when he says “your lack of faith in the force is disturbing.” Don’t question the faith in Saban…just win $$$.

Texas Tech at Baylor (-27.5) 7:00 p.m. eastern on Fox
Take Baylor. Not only is their offense an offensive death machine (Uncle Drake should really trademark that…as soon as he figures out how many “t’s” are in trademark...), their defense is better than people think. I was high on the Red Raiders when they were beating up on Kansas, but with a freshman QB against a quality D and the fact that Kliff Sunglasses still doesn’t have anyone on defense, I smell Briles and Petty hitting 65+. Go Waco, Go Baylor!!!

Florida at South Carolina (-13.5) 7:00 p.m. on ESPN2
Yes the Gators have had injuries but I’m not sure UF realizes that the forward pass is actually a legal play in today’s game. I remember in pee wee my coach telling me “3 yards and a cloud of dust.” That’s essentially Florida’s offense, if you subtract 2 yards per play. On the bright side, as I write this, Lionel Richie just started singing “Endless Love” so that’s a positive. If you don’t love Diana and Lionel, well, you’re probably a fan of Michigan or Florida and people who hate seals.

And with that, happy 3rd birthday to my boy (the most awesome little dude ever), God bless our military for all that they do and sacrifice and may you all have a happy, safe, and wonderful holiday.

Until I feel inspired again……….

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